This morning I drove myself to Mt. Zion for my final radiation treatment, #25. I was nervous though I don't know why and woke up at 3:30AM not able to go back to sleep.On the drive over, I was idly counting the number of trips I have made to San Francisco and UCSF for my doctor appointments, lab tests, surgery, follow ups, chemo and radiation and it got up to fifty.
Wow, this "detour" has been more than I could have ever imagined. It was good I did not know the whole picture because it would have been overwhelming. Some parts went better than expected like my surgery and the radiation while the chemo was really difficult. The AC part which they call the "red death" lived up to its name and the side effects were brutal.
What has been amazing is how quickly the five weeks of radiation have flown by. I have become friends with the valet parking attendant as well as my four technicians. Today I gave the techs muffins and cupcakes. When they finished they hugged me. Then I went to meet with the doctor who sees me every Tuesday.
She told me I am doing really well and though I have some skin irritation it has so far been very manageable. The discomfort will peak this weekend but I don't think it will be bad. Though fatigue can be a side effect, I have had great energy. When she finished her quick examination, she went to get me more of her special creams and honey patches I use on my skin. That is when I started to weep, overcome with emotion. Her resident immediately got me tissues and when she got back in the room she gave me some too. I felt overwhelmed to have reached this day after almost nine months, and don't think I can even process all my feelings yet.
The tradition upon completing radiation is to ring a special bell in the hall and that is what I did as hard as I could. It was funny that two of the receptionists came running to give me and another woman who was finishing big hugs which is what they do when they hear the bell. It is like a graduation!
Jeff and I went out for a drink tonight because he wanted to mark this day with a special celebration. I am filled with gratitude to have made it through all of this. Thank you to my wonderful husband, my daughters, son in laws and my five cuties and to my family and dear friends, everyone on Team Savta. Your caring support, phone calls, emails, cards, care packages, mahjong games, rides and companionship has kept me going more than you can every know.
Thank you also to my faithful blog readers. Your comments and encouragement have helped me so much. To date my blog statistics are almost 2500 pageviews!
My hope is that as time goes on I will be able to take what I have learned in the past nine months and use the experience in a positive and meaningful way.
Though my future blogs will no longer be about "my detour,"I would like to continue with occasional pieces about travel or other musings. As a writer, I enjoy the blog format and hope you will continue to follow my work. I am hoping to also develop a web site where I can showcase some of my poetry and short stories.
All the best for a happy spring and if you celebrate, have a great Passover.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
The Flashing Light at the End of the Tunnel
I can see it...there is a light flashing at the end of the tunnel. After almost nine months, I am getting close to finishing my treatments. I have completed eighteen radiation treatments with seven to go. The radiation treatments have been going well. Everything is very fast and I can be in and out of UCSF in twenty five minutes.
I have the routine down pat. I sign in, change in to a gown, go to the waiting room and get taken in by one of the technicians. More often than not they see me before my appointment time. Each time I have to give them my name and birthday before I go to the room. While I had heard that the precise positioning on the table takes time, my four-person crew of technicians are quick and efficient and have me ready to be zapped within minutes. The machines then pass over me with a whirring sound, rotate to several positions and after maybe six or seven minutes the technicians return to help me off the table.
Then they say, "have a nice day." This strikes me as ironic and the ultimate understatement. After having gone through so much, they wish me a nice day like I just brought in dry cleaning. They are trying to be friendly and they see many patients every day, yet each of us has our own hurdles that we have endured. I am aware that my life has been changed forever. However I do thank them and wish them a nice day back!
I have been going to the city on BART or driving, and it has not been bad. After my treatments I have been meeting friends, hanging with my sister and cousin, seeing my grandsons and in general breaking up the days so that I am wonderfully distracted.
I am happy to report that I have been feeling really well and have so much more energy then during my chemo treatments. Jeff keeps saying to me, "you're back...!" He is thrilled to have his "old wife" back, especially when he sees me doing things I used to do with the same intensity or even getting on his case! I am starting my annual pre-Passover crazy housecleaning where I go through all my kitchen drawers and cabinets and empty them of crumbs and the little rice kernels that wind up in the corners.
We are once again seeing friends, attending events and socializing. It feels great to be back to life. I now have peach fuzz on the top of my head. I am not sure how my new hair will be. It is often different and could be curly I'm not quite ready to pitch my wigs or head coverings yet though I am tempted.
I do appreciate every good day. I hope I will never take this profound sense of gratitude which I am feeling now for granted. Have a nice day!
I have the routine down pat. I sign in, change in to a gown, go to the waiting room and get taken in by one of the technicians. More often than not they see me before my appointment time. Each time I have to give them my name and birthday before I go to the room. While I had heard that the precise positioning on the table takes time, my four-person crew of technicians are quick and efficient and have me ready to be zapped within minutes. The machines then pass over me with a whirring sound, rotate to several positions and after maybe six or seven minutes the technicians return to help me off the table.
Then they say, "have a nice day." This strikes me as ironic and the ultimate understatement. After having gone through so much, they wish me a nice day like I just brought in dry cleaning. They are trying to be friendly and they see many patients every day, yet each of us has our own hurdles that we have endured. I am aware that my life has been changed forever. However I do thank them and wish them a nice day back!
I have been going to the city on BART or driving, and it has not been bad. After my treatments I have been meeting friends, hanging with my sister and cousin, seeing my grandsons and in general breaking up the days so that I am wonderfully distracted.
I am happy to report that I have been feeling really well and have so much more energy then during my chemo treatments. Jeff keeps saying to me, "you're back...!" He is thrilled to have his "old wife" back, especially when he sees me doing things I used to do with the same intensity or even getting on his case! I am starting my annual pre-Passover crazy housecleaning where I go through all my kitchen drawers and cabinets and empty them of crumbs and the little rice kernels that wind up in the corners.
We are once again seeing friends, attending events and socializing. It feels great to be back to life. I now have peach fuzz on the top of my head. I am not sure how my new hair will be. It is often different and could be curly I'm not quite ready to pitch my wigs or head coverings yet though I am tempted.
I do appreciate every good day. I hope I will never take this profound sense of gratitude which I am feeling now for granted. Have a nice day!
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