The Flashing Light at the End of the Tunnel

I can see it...there is a light flashing at the end of the tunnel.  After almost nine months, I am getting close to finishing my treatments. I have completed eighteen radiation treatments with seven to go. The radiation treatments have been going well. Everything is very fast and I can be in and out of UCSF in twenty five minutes.

I have the routine down pat. I sign in, change in to a gown, go to the waiting room and get taken in by one of the technicians. More often than not they see me before my appointment time.  Each time I have to give them my name and birthday before I go to the room.  While I had heard that the  precise positioning on the table takes time, my four-person crew of technicians are quick and efficient and have me ready to be zapped within minutes. The machines then pass over me with a whirring sound, rotate to several positions and after maybe six or seven minutes the technicians return to help me off the table.

Then they say, "have a nice day." This strikes me as ironic and the ultimate understatement. After having gone through so much, they wish me a nice day like I just brought in dry cleaning. They are trying to be friendly and they see many patients every day, yet each of us has our own hurdles that we have endured.  I am aware that my life has been changed forever.  However I do  thank them and wish them a nice day back!

I have been going to the city on BART or driving, and it has not been bad. After my treatments I have been meeting friends, hanging with my sister and cousin, seeing my grandsons and in general breaking up the days so that I am wonderfully distracted.


I am happy to report that I have been feeling really well and have so much more energy then during my chemo treatments. Jeff keeps saying to me, "you're back...!" He is thrilled to have his "old wife" back, especially when  he sees me doing things I used to do with the same intensity or even getting on his case!  I am starting my annual pre-Passover crazy housecleaning where I go through all my kitchen drawers and cabinets and empty them of crumbs and the little rice kernels that wind up in the corners.

We are once again seeing friends, attending events and socializing.  It feels great to be back to life. I now have peach fuzz on the top of my head. I am not sure how my new hair will be. It is often different and could be curly  I'm not quite ready to pitch my wigs or head coverings yet though I am tempted.

I do appreciate every good day. I hope I will never take this profound sense of gratitude which I am feeling now for granted. Have a nice day!