Just hit the four week marker from my last chemo. My immune system should be getting back to normal and stronger. However last Friday I came down with a virus. Fortunately it is not the full blown flu, a that has hit so many people. Anything I pick up now is a bit more worrisome, but today I feel like I am on the mend and do not have any fever. I saw my doctor yesterday, and he said to wait until tomorrow to decide to see how I am doing.
I had already kissed off our trip to Maui. We are supposed to leave on Friday and I had resigned myself that this trip was just not happening. Today so far I see that we might still go and if I can get through the day with no fever or other symptoms popping up, things are looking up. Jeff and I are rather laid back about all this for two reasons. We have been through so much in the last months that Maui or no Maui doesn't seem that important. We were also smart and took out insurance for this trip which we normally don't do.
Before I got the virus, I was doing great and starting to get back to exercise at my club. I even took my first zumba class last Friday but couldn't get through the whole class. I attributed it to not being fully back to my pre-chemo strength and endurance but I know now that the virus was brewing. By the time I got back from class, I had chills and had to rest in bed.
I keep looking for signs that I am getting back to my old self. Every day I check in the mirror for new fringe. I am really looking forward to my hair starting to come back in the next weeks. I will also enjoy my new eyebrows and eyelashes. I wish I could speed up that process, but it will take time. How I have learned from this whole ordeal. Pre-chemo the thought of being bald seemed devastating, but once I was enveloped in the difficulties of the chemo and the unexpected side effects, baldness went way down on my list of concerns. In face it became irrelevant.
It is fun to think of whether my new hair will be a different color or texture which sometimes happens. Between my wigs, caps, hats,creative head coverings and a little make up, I have managed well and tried to look my best.
Radiation will start later in February. Some of you have offered to drive a day to SF.I will put out an email later when I know my schedule. I have also figured out the best BART/Muni schedule to SF.
I will keep you posted...next blog from Maui (or Oakland!!)
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
Back to Life
It is good to feel I am getting back to somewhat of a normal life again. This week for the first time in months I got together with my mahjong crew to spend a fun afternoon. I am a latecomer to mahjong and only took it up in the last couple of years. Many of my friends have been playing for a long time and urged me to learn the game but I resisted. I kept associating it with gossipy old ladies sitting around a card table, but I have been pleasantly and surprisingly proved wrong.
I find the game to be challenging, and I am still learning strategy. Every year the particular card, with the various hands we try to make, changes so it keeps the game fresh. The best part is getting together with friends catching up on what everyone is doing and having some laughs. Some days I can't win a single game and other days I am "lucky." That is how it goes. The past months with my debilitating chemo, I was not able to play so I am delighted to be back.
I had another check up with my oncologist whom I now don't have to see for four months (yeah!). Another part of my treatment plan, besides the surgery, the chemotherapy and the upcoming radiation is a drug that I have started taking. It is part of a special class of drugs to further fight the cancer. It is a tiny pill but like everything can have side effects. So far, so good... I am doing well with it. However, it does cause bone weakening so the doctor said I need to have a special bone strengthening infusion every six months.
I had it today and went up to one of the infusion centers again. It was the same place I had my last chemo and I was hoping not to be in those rooms again but I needed to get this treatment. It was only fifteen minutes, and I was glad to leave there for hopefully a long time.
This week I also took advantage of two of the services the breast cancer center at UCSF provides as resources for cancer patients. I attended a class on nutrition last Wednesday night and Jeff shlepped along with me. It was very worthwhile and gave me some guidelines for nutrition to further enhance my recovery The recommended diet is heavily plant based meaning my diet should be primarily vegetables and fruits with small amounts of meats, poultry, dairy products. With the effects of chemo, sometimes just eating anything at all, chicken soup, ice cream or oatmeal was the most I could stomach and salads and fruits and vegetables have not been palatable.
There are many studies and theories for post cancer patients and I suppose the path of moderation is still the best way to go. I will try to cut down on sugar which will be a challenge since I have a serious sweet tooth. One of the class participants asked about alcohol. Here also moderation seems to be the most important guideline (Yikes, no one wants to give up everything enjoyable!!) One article I read say no soy but the nutritionist encouraged soy so I am back to tofu. I found out that I need to take regular calcium and Vitamin D.
Ii also met with an exercise counselor this week. She does nothing but work with cancer patients and this too was very interesting and helpful. The bottom line is that I need to get active again and try to do something, even just walking, almost on a daily basis. She also recommended balance exercises strength training and taking time for relaxation. Fortunately I belong to a gym which has everything I need.It just requires me to get off my tuches and go there. She said that the zumba class that I had been taking before I started chemo was terrific and hit many of the areas that I need to work on.
What I realized this week is that cancer recovery is a serious business, and I need to be an active participant in seeking the proper nutrition as well as maintaining my exercise program. My best exercise this week was taking my grandson Shaya for a long walk . He was a little doll and was chilling in his stroller enjoying his neighborhood and not making a peep during our walk.Walking with him also counts towards my daily exercise!
I find the game to be challenging, and I am still learning strategy. Every year the particular card, with the various hands we try to make, changes so it keeps the game fresh. The best part is getting together with friends catching up on what everyone is doing and having some laughs. Some days I can't win a single game and other days I am "lucky." That is how it goes. The past months with my debilitating chemo, I was not able to play so I am delighted to be back.
I had another check up with my oncologist whom I now don't have to see for four months (yeah!). Another part of my treatment plan, besides the surgery, the chemotherapy and the upcoming radiation is a drug that I have started taking. It is part of a special class of drugs to further fight the cancer. It is a tiny pill but like everything can have side effects. So far, so good... I am doing well with it. However, it does cause bone weakening so the doctor said I need to have a special bone strengthening infusion every six months.
I had it today and went up to one of the infusion centers again. It was the same place I had my last chemo and I was hoping not to be in those rooms again but I needed to get this treatment. It was only fifteen minutes, and I was glad to leave there for hopefully a long time.
This week I also took advantage of two of the services the breast cancer center at UCSF provides as resources for cancer patients. I attended a class on nutrition last Wednesday night and Jeff shlepped along with me. It was very worthwhile and gave me some guidelines for nutrition to further enhance my recovery The recommended diet is heavily plant based meaning my diet should be primarily vegetables and fruits with small amounts of meats, poultry, dairy products. With the effects of chemo, sometimes just eating anything at all, chicken soup, ice cream or oatmeal was the most I could stomach and salads and fruits and vegetables have not been palatable.
There are many studies and theories for post cancer patients and I suppose the path of moderation is still the best way to go. I will try to cut down on sugar which will be a challenge since I have a serious sweet tooth. One of the class participants asked about alcohol. Here also moderation seems to be the most important guideline (Yikes, no one wants to give up everything enjoyable!!) One article I read say no soy but the nutritionist encouraged soy so I am back to tofu. I found out that I need to take regular calcium and Vitamin D.
Ii also met with an exercise counselor this week. She does nothing but work with cancer patients and this too was very interesting and helpful. The bottom line is that I need to get active again and try to do something, even just walking, almost on a daily basis. She also recommended balance exercises strength training and taking time for relaxation. Fortunately I belong to a gym which has everything I need.It just requires me to get off my tuches and go there. She said that the zumba class that I had been taking before I started chemo was terrific and hit many of the areas that I need to work on.
What I realized this week is that cancer recovery is a serious business, and I need to be an active participant in seeking the proper nutrition as well as maintaining my exercise program. My best exercise this week was taking my grandson Shaya for a long walk . He was a little doll and was chilling in his stroller enjoying his neighborhood and not making a peep during our walk.Walking with him also counts towards my daily exercise!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
No more port
It is a great feeling to be done with chemo. Every chemo appointment was a source of anxiety and dread but now that is all behind me. We also never knew the side effects and as you know I experienced many. Jeff laughs and tells me how much better my coloring is...no more Casper the ghost.
Yesterday on a beautiful cold morning with the moon still hovering, Jeff and I trekked to San Francisco to have my port removed.We left at 6:30am because the traffic to SF on our recent early morning drives has been awful, and we have been late. Yesterday traffic was post-holiday light and we got there for once before the appointment. Jeff stayed in the lobby while I went up to the interventional radiation department where they installed the port so they could remove it. Having a port has been a godsend. It saved me from so many extra sticks and pokes.
The port resided in my upper left chest area and was hardly noticeable.It has been used for the last five months both to draw blood which has happened frequently as well as for the administration of the chemotherapy. I was lucky with my port as I never had a problem with it such as an infection.
When it was inserted it was more of a delicate procedure but this time they told me it would be quick, and I would not need to fast or have anything more than local anesthesia. Despite what they told me, every time I have any procedure I get nervous. I suppose this is normal. I was greeted by a friendly nurse who showed me where to change and promptly gave me some warm blankets while I waited on a gurney. The halls were cool and I was glad to have them.She congratulated me for getting the port out.
While I waited for the surgeon to come to talk to me, I reflected on my "detour." Sometimes it is overwhelming to think of the unexpected twists and turns I have endured and how far I have come since my cancer diagnosis. Yet now that I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I am very grateful. My five week course of radiation will begin in mid February.
I saw a woman the other day in Berkeley struggling to get out of her van in to a wheelchair then pushing herself forward with crutches. Watching her reminded me that my situation (g-d willing) is temporary and I will be able to move forward and get on with my life. Her situation is permanent.
The young Asian surgeon came in and told me this would be a quick procedure, probably 45 minutes. He likened it to a dental procedure...(great, I hate going to the dentist.) He would give me a local anesthetic then remove the port. I signed a release and then the nurse came and we walked to the operating room. A technician cleaned the area and the surgeon came in. I chatted with him as I was completely alert and awake. The shot hurt for a second but the procedure was simple. I felt some pressure and pulling but that was it. He removed the port and showed it to me. It looked like a small round microphone with a chord. Then he spent ten minutes stitching me up and I was good to go. It went quicker than he anticipated, only a half hour.
Though I thought I would get back to my gym this week, now I have to wait another week. I am looking forward to resuming my old activities. Next week I start my beloved Thursday morning writing workshop. I hope to resume Zumba and regular gym visits.
It will take time as I gain strength and my resistance gets back to normal, and I am trying hard to stay away from anyone with a cold. At the end of the month we are booked for Maui and we can't wait. Aloha! Mahalo!!
Yesterday on a beautiful cold morning with the moon still hovering, Jeff and I trekked to San Francisco to have my port removed.We left at 6:30am because the traffic to SF on our recent early morning drives has been awful, and we have been late. Yesterday traffic was post-holiday light and we got there for once before the appointment. Jeff stayed in the lobby while I went up to the interventional radiation department where they installed the port so they could remove it. Having a port has been a godsend. It saved me from so many extra sticks and pokes.
The port resided in my upper left chest area and was hardly noticeable.It has been used for the last five months both to draw blood which has happened frequently as well as for the administration of the chemotherapy. I was lucky with my port as I never had a problem with it such as an infection.
When it was inserted it was more of a delicate procedure but this time they told me it would be quick, and I would not need to fast or have anything more than local anesthesia. Despite what they told me, every time I have any procedure I get nervous. I suppose this is normal. I was greeted by a friendly nurse who showed me where to change and promptly gave me some warm blankets while I waited on a gurney. The halls were cool and I was glad to have them.She congratulated me for getting the port out.
While I waited for the surgeon to come to talk to me, I reflected on my "detour." Sometimes it is overwhelming to think of the unexpected twists and turns I have endured and how far I have come since my cancer diagnosis. Yet now that I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I am very grateful. My five week course of radiation will begin in mid February.
I saw a woman the other day in Berkeley struggling to get out of her van in to a wheelchair then pushing herself forward with crutches. Watching her reminded me that my situation (g-d willing) is temporary and I will be able to move forward and get on with my life. Her situation is permanent.
The young Asian surgeon came in and told me this would be a quick procedure, probably 45 minutes. He likened it to a dental procedure...(great, I hate going to the dentist.) He would give me a local anesthetic then remove the port. I signed a release and then the nurse came and we walked to the operating room. A technician cleaned the area and the surgeon came in. I chatted with him as I was completely alert and awake. The shot hurt for a second but the procedure was simple. I felt some pressure and pulling but that was it. He removed the port and showed it to me. It looked like a small round microphone with a chord. Then he spent ten minutes stitching me up and I was good to go. It went quicker than he anticipated, only a half hour.
Though I thought I would get back to my gym this week, now I have to wait another week. I am looking forward to resuming my old activities. Next week I start my beloved Thursday morning writing workshop. I hope to resume Zumba and regular gym visits.
It will take time as I gain strength and my resistance gets back to normal, and I am trying hard to stay away from anyone with a cold. At the end of the month we are booked for Maui and we can't wait. Aloha! Mahalo!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
My Anthem Insurance saga
I want to preface this blog post by saying I have had a wonderful week. I am almost afraid to put those words down in black and white. Our children visiting from Israel were here for the weekend and we celebrated Chanukah.
My three grandchildren from Israel are so full of life. Each has a strong personality. Atara "Ati", the oldest, almost nine, asked questions about my treatment and seemed to understand quite a lot. She loves gymnastics and knows so much Torah that she floors me. Eliana, "Luli",six, tells me she prays for me every day. I was very overcome by her sincerity. She is a riot and keeps us entertained with her elaborate modern dances and funny faces. The little guy, Shmaya, age four, can't stop kissing me. Jeff made him pancakes on Sunday morning at 5AM. He is on the move constantly and reminds me of his Abbah. It won't be long until he will be doing computer programming
One night they all came in to bed with me for cuddling. They are very sweet kids and it is nice that in Israel the emphasis is not on Chanukah gifts so they were not expecting piles of presents. Of course they ended up getting inundated with gifts from their grandparents and extended family anyway.
Last Saturday the whole family hung out. The son-in-laws shared beers and good food. The sisters caught up with each other. The babies were entertained by the older kids. Ati and Luli played Monopoly and cards. Jeff kept checking to see if I was OK. It was almost overwhelming for us with what we have been through to be able to enjoy this rare event and for me to feel well through it all.
Sunday we all went to another Chanukah party given by my cousin's daughter Kimberly and her husband Vlad with even more adorable little ones there and their parents, my nieces and nephews and cousins. I was thrilled to enjoy the chaos of the kids, the yummy food and drink.
In one of my earlier posts I said I would share my Anthem Blue Cross saga. I'll start at the end of it. Once all my issues were straightened out and I paid my deductible, they have paid everything without question. My bills are considerable. Just the special shot I take the day after chemo is $6,000!! That is not a typo. This shot is what boosts my white cell count, and I will have taken eight of them by next week.
This all began when somehow I signed up for Covered California through Anthem Blue Cross. I have been a Blue Cross member forever and ended up with Covered CA even though I was not eligible for subsidies. However, I soon realized when I researched surgeons that the entire Sutter Health organization of doctors in the East Bay did not accept Covered CA and Anthem. This also meant that two of my long time Oakland doctors dropped me because they did not accept Anthem and Covered CA.When I figured out I could not find a top surgeon in Oakland, I thankfully discovered that the UC system did accept Covered CA and Anthem.
In a way, I decided that the fact that I was thrust in the UCSF system was meant to be and right from the start I was not going to second guess myself nor seek second opinions. UCSF, as I have written previously, has state of the art treatment and world class doctors who are researchers as well as teachers.
So I was in the UCSF system and thought everything was OK. Three days before my surgery in August I got a call saying the Covered CA had dropped me. I almost had a heart attack...no insurance and surgery in a few days which could be cancelled?!! Then I got on the phone and found out that was some sort of screw up. It took me begging, pleading and practically crying to make sure I was re-instated with Covered CA and Blue Cross in time for my surgery.
Then I got another call saying that I had not paid my premiums to Anthem. One of the biggest issues I had with Anthem was never being able to reach the same person twice. I was angry because my premiums were automatically deducted from my checking account. I could see where they had been taken out. Again I was on the phone for marathon sessions being promised by this agent and that agent that I would be called back, but it never happened. There was no follow up. On top of dealing with the emotional whiplash of cancer, I had to contend with insurance issues. I had heard of people having nightmare insurance problems. Was this happening to me now too? For sure I did not need this aggravation.
Then I got a letter stating that my policy was going to lapse. I was furious because my $629/month had been deducted, and I had the proof. This time I was bound and determined to stay on the phone until this was resolved. I got on the phone at 8AM and told myself I would hang on the phone all day if I had to. I demanded to speak to a supervisor and finally got someone who listened to the entire saga and it was a long one. What she determined after investigating was that my payments had been applied to PEDIATRIC DENTAL.
Great, I have no kids at home and I'm paying for someone to take their kids to the dentist using my entire premium which was supposed to be a minimal mandatory charge mandated by Obamacare. Obviously my premiums had been misapplied. Then she said that I would be sent a refund. Uh-oh...a refund? I was very nervous that Anthem would say I have no coverage and my payments were overdue and my medical bills would be unpaid or that my treatment would be delayed.
She assured me that she would handle this properly. She took a three month payment over the phone using my credit card which would make my account current. Then she set me up on the correct automatic deduction program which would not go to pediatric dental. I almost didn't believe that this frustrating drama was finally going to be set right but it was.She said I was to cash the refund check though I was almost afraid to do so.
What I have since found out over these last months is that coverage changes all the time. Anthem Covered CA was accepted at my recent emergency visit to Summit in Oakland even though not all the doctors I saw there accepted my insurance. I was able to appeal to Anthem because if the hospital accepted me then I had a legitimate claim to have the doctors take my insurance as well which is what happened. If you think this is a little crazy you are absolutely correct. I think the whole system is still in flux and changing rapidly.
Now with the renewal which had to be done in mid December, Jeff and I decided to leave everything exactly the way it is. We are afraid of making any changes. In 2015 I will be 65 (oy) and will go to Medicare when I will be making major changes.
One week from today is my last chemo. I am literally holding my breath to make it to that day and stay the way I am with no other side effects. I will keep you posted.. Happy Holidays.
My three grandchildren from Israel are so full of life. Each has a strong personality. Atara "Ati", the oldest, almost nine, asked questions about my treatment and seemed to understand quite a lot. She loves gymnastics and knows so much Torah that she floors me. Eliana, "Luli",six, tells me she prays for me every day. I was very overcome by her sincerity. She is a riot and keeps us entertained with her elaborate modern dances and funny faces. The little guy, Shmaya, age four, can't stop kissing me. Jeff made him pancakes on Sunday morning at 5AM. He is on the move constantly and reminds me of his Abbah. It won't be long until he will be doing computer programming
One night they all came in to bed with me for cuddling. They are very sweet kids and it is nice that in Israel the emphasis is not on Chanukah gifts so they were not expecting piles of presents. Of course they ended up getting inundated with gifts from their grandparents and extended family anyway.
Last Saturday the whole family hung out. The son-in-laws shared beers and good food. The sisters caught up with each other. The babies were entertained by the older kids. Ati and Luli played Monopoly and cards. Jeff kept checking to see if I was OK. It was almost overwhelming for us with what we have been through to be able to enjoy this rare event and for me to feel well through it all.
Sunday we all went to another Chanukah party given by my cousin's daughter Kimberly and her husband Vlad with even more adorable little ones there and their parents, my nieces and nephews and cousins. I was thrilled to enjoy the chaos of the kids, the yummy food and drink.
In one of my earlier posts I said I would share my Anthem Blue Cross saga. I'll start at the end of it. Once all my issues were straightened out and I paid my deductible, they have paid everything without question. My bills are considerable. Just the special shot I take the day after chemo is $6,000!! That is not a typo. This shot is what boosts my white cell count, and I will have taken eight of them by next week.
This all began when somehow I signed up for Covered California through Anthem Blue Cross. I have been a Blue Cross member forever and ended up with Covered CA even though I was not eligible for subsidies. However, I soon realized when I researched surgeons that the entire Sutter Health organization of doctors in the East Bay did not accept Covered CA and Anthem. This also meant that two of my long time Oakland doctors dropped me because they did not accept Anthem and Covered CA.When I figured out I could not find a top surgeon in Oakland, I thankfully discovered that the UC system did accept Covered CA and Anthem.
In a way, I decided that the fact that I was thrust in the UCSF system was meant to be and right from the start I was not going to second guess myself nor seek second opinions. UCSF, as I have written previously, has state of the art treatment and world class doctors who are researchers as well as teachers.
So I was in the UCSF system and thought everything was OK. Three days before my surgery in August I got a call saying the Covered CA had dropped me. I almost had a heart attack...no insurance and surgery in a few days which could be cancelled?!! Then I got on the phone and found out that was some sort of screw up. It took me begging, pleading and practically crying to make sure I was re-instated with Covered CA and Blue Cross in time for my surgery.
Then I got another call saying that I had not paid my premiums to Anthem. One of the biggest issues I had with Anthem was never being able to reach the same person twice. I was angry because my premiums were automatically deducted from my checking account. I could see where they had been taken out. Again I was on the phone for marathon sessions being promised by this agent and that agent that I would be called back, but it never happened. There was no follow up. On top of dealing with the emotional whiplash of cancer, I had to contend with insurance issues. I had heard of people having nightmare insurance problems. Was this happening to me now too? For sure I did not need this aggravation.
Then I got a letter stating that my policy was going to lapse. I was furious because my $629/month had been deducted, and I had the proof. This time I was bound and determined to stay on the phone until this was resolved. I got on the phone at 8AM and told myself I would hang on the phone all day if I had to. I demanded to speak to a supervisor and finally got someone who listened to the entire saga and it was a long one. What she determined after investigating was that my payments had been applied to PEDIATRIC DENTAL.
Great, I have no kids at home and I'm paying for someone to take their kids to the dentist using my entire premium which was supposed to be a minimal mandatory charge mandated by Obamacare. Obviously my premiums had been misapplied. Then she said that I would be sent a refund. Uh-oh...a refund? I was very nervous that Anthem would say I have no coverage and my payments were overdue and my medical bills would be unpaid or that my treatment would be delayed.
She assured me that she would handle this properly. She took a three month payment over the phone using my credit card which would make my account current. Then she set me up on the correct automatic deduction program which would not go to pediatric dental. I almost didn't believe that this frustrating drama was finally going to be set right but it was.She said I was to cash the refund check though I was almost afraid to do so.
What I have since found out over these last months is that coverage changes all the time. Anthem Covered CA was accepted at my recent emergency visit to Summit in Oakland even though not all the doctors I saw there accepted my insurance. I was able to appeal to Anthem because if the hospital accepted me then I had a legitimate claim to have the doctors take my insurance as well which is what happened. If you think this is a little crazy you are absolutely correct. I think the whole system is still in flux and changing rapidly.
Now with the renewal which had to be done in mid December, Jeff and I decided to leave everything exactly the way it is. We are afraid of making any changes. In 2015 I will be 65 (oy) and will go to Medicare when I will be making major changes.
One week from today is my last chemo. I am literally holding my breath to make it to that day and stay the way I am with no other side effects. I will keep you posted.. Happy Holidays.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Another unexpected twist; and looking forward to tomorrow
This Tuesday I will hopefully have my seventh chemo treatment, with only one remaining. I say "hopefully" because my detour took an unexpected twist last week when I came down with pneumonia. Fortunately it was caught early and I am doing much better. I know I am better because I went out shopping today and got some things in preparation for Chanukah.
This afternoon I took out all my Chanukah decorations and put them up in the family room and dining room. I have stuff from years ago though some years if there were no kids around, Jeff and I didn't bother to put anything up. This will be a special Chanukah. We will have all five of our grandchildren in one place. Oops I forgot that having, their parents, my three daughters and their husbands all together, our whole family, will be the best present for me and Jeff.
We have not seen the three grandchildren from Israel for almost a year.That is a very long time not to see the children, as we were supposed to be there for Rosh Hashanah but had to cancel. With Skype, we see them often and amazingly we feel very close with them as they do with us. Atara called us before they left for the airport and she was bubbling with excitement.
Normally they stay with us first and then move to their Palo Alto grandparents. This time they are going there first and will be with us for Shabbat if I'm OK.
Tomorrow morning they arrive with their (hero) dad, my son in law, Andy on a Jet Blue flight. Believe me, it is not easy to work and get three children where they need to be. Devora had sitters lined up and friends to help and meals prepared, but Andy, their Abba, is amazing.
Devora, who arrived ten days ago, wanted to have some time with me. She was a real comfort when I had some tough days. She has a very spiritual, comforting way about her and knew the right words to soothe her mom who needed extra TLC.
It is not uncommon to catch something while you are on chemo as your are very susceptible with your white cell count compromised. My oncology nurse gave me the rules when we first met. If I were to get a fever, I had to call in to the office immediately. They don't fool around.
Last Tuesday night I had a low fever but my Wednesday morning it was higher and I had an annoying dry cough. When I called in she said, "I hate to tell you this, but you have to go to the ER." I couldn't believe it...not again. As I said before, I was healthy before I got cancer, never in the ER or the hospital. I asked Robin, my wonderful oncology nurse, does everyone get all the complications I have had. She said "no." I know there is a lesson in all this for me which is that I really am not in control of my situation.
Jeff and I got ready and headed to UCSF on Parnassus. I was not a happy camper thinking I would have to stay overnight. I packed a few things. The skies were gray, laden with the huge rain storm that was coming which we had been hearing about for days. I didn't say much on the ride over. Jeff would take my hand. This has been a tough four months just as much for him as me.
The young doctor who checked me sent for a chest X-Ray. He did not hear the pneumonia but the radiologist saw it on the X-ray. Fortunately because I was not looking too bad I was sent home with the antibiotics.
He was very strict though that I had to see my own doctor in Oakland to be re-checked at the end of the week, and if I did not get better to head straight to the hospital. Oy....I went home, got in to bed. Thursday was the perfect day to stay home with the pounding rain that went on all day. After two days I started to feel much better. I am getting sick of tea and honey.
I am hoping that Tuesday is a "go." If I were betting, I would say it will be. In the mean time I am very excited to go to the airport tomorrow to see my crew. Devora has missed them a lot but I do think she has also enjoyed her quiet time to read, pray and do Feldenkreis and all the things she enjoys.
Wishing everyone a great holiday season...I'll keep you posted.
This afternoon I took out all my Chanukah decorations and put them up in the family room and dining room. I have stuff from years ago though some years if there were no kids around, Jeff and I didn't bother to put anything up. This will be a special Chanukah. We will have all five of our grandchildren in one place. Oops I forgot that having, their parents, my three daughters and their husbands all together, our whole family, will be the best present for me and Jeff.
We have not seen the three grandchildren from Israel for almost a year.That is a very long time not to see the children, as we were supposed to be there for Rosh Hashanah but had to cancel. With Skype, we see them often and amazingly we feel very close with them as they do with us. Atara called us before they left for the airport and she was bubbling with excitement.
Normally they stay with us first and then move to their Palo Alto grandparents. This time they are going there first and will be with us for Shabbat if I'm OK.
Tomorrow morning they arrive with their (hero) dad, my son in law, Andy on a Jet Blue flight. Believe me, it is not easy to work and get three children where they need to be. Devora had sitters lined up and friends to help and meals prepared, but Andy, their Abba, is amazing.
Devora, who arrived ten days ago, wanted to have some time with me. She was a real comfort when I had some tough days. She has a very spiritual, comforting way about her and knew the right words to soothe her mom who needed extra TLC.
It is not uncommon to catch something while you are on chemo as your are very susceptible with your white cell count compromised. My oncology nurse gave me the rules when we first met. If I were to get a fever, I had to call in to the office immediately. They don't fool around.
Last Tuesday night I had a low fever but my Wednesday morning it was higher and I had an annoying dry cough. When I called in she said, "I hate to tell you this, but you have to go to the ER." I couldn't believe it...not again. As I said before, I was healthy before I got cancer, never in the ER or the hospital. I asked Robin, my wonderful oncology nurse, does everyone get all the complications I have had. She said "no." I know there is a lesson in all this for me which is that I really am not in control of my situation.
Jeff and I got ready and headed to UCSF on Parnassus. I was not a happy camper thinking I would have to stay overnight. I packed a few things. The skies were gray, laden with the huge rain storm that was coming which we had been hearing about for days. I didn't say much on the ride over. Jeff would take my hand. This has been a tough four months just as much for him as me.
The young doctor who checked me sent for a chest X-Ray. He did not hear the pneumonia but the radiologist saw it on the X-ray. Fortunately because I was not looking too bad I was sent home with the antibiotics.
He was very strict though that I had to see my own doctor in Oakland to be re-checked at the end of the week, and if I did not get better to head straight to the hospital. Oy....I went home, got in to bed. Thursday was the perfect day to stay home with the pounding rain that went on all day. After two days I started to feel much better. I am getting sick of tea and honey.
I am hoping that Tuesday is a "go." If I were betting, I would say it will be. In the mean time I am very excited to go to the airport tomorrow to see my crew. Devora has missed them a lot but I do think she has also enjoyed her quiet time to read, pray and do Feldenkreis and all the things she enjoys.
Wishing everyone a great holiday season...I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Treatment #6; plans for Radiation
I just had my sixth chemo yesterday, the second of the second drug which as the oncologist said would be easier for me. I was incredibly grateful that although I had a couple of bad days, most of the two weeks was tolerable without serious side effects.
It is interesting with this drug, Taxol, that the initial concern is having an allergic reaction. Before the infusion even begins, I receive several anti allergy drugs, including a Benadryl IV which makes me rather sleepy. What happened the last time was that by the third day when those drugs wore off I crashed and was extremely tired. Perhaps now that I know what to expect, it won't be as bad.
Once again, I was reminded how cancer hits all ages. Two of the women sharing the infusion room with me were young, one in her early twenties. It makes me realize that my situation, though not pleasant, is not half as challenging as faced by these younger women.
Tomorrow I get a special delivery of TLC as my daughter Devora arrives from Israel in the morning. This is the first time she left her three children and traveled here by herself. She is not a good traveler, reacts to jet lag for days so this is a big venture on her part. I am grateful we will have some time to be together and catch up without the troops.
My son in law Andy is an amazing Abba. He arrives with the children in about ten days, the day before Chanukah. Fortunately he will have some help on the plane from a good friend who will travel with them. The older girls are used to the long flight and now that Shmaya is getting older, he should also be much easier. When he was smaller, Andy walked him from one end of the plane to the other sometimes for hours to get him to fall asleep.
They normally stay with us for the first week and I get up with them at 2AM when they are wide awake with jet lag, but this time they are headed to their wonderful Palo Alto grandparents first.
I will miss that crazy middle of the night ruckus when I am making breakfast, cheerios and toasted English muffins, and we are watching Net Flix cartoons.Hopefully, they will be able to spend some time at our house during their second week when I will be recuperated from #7 treatment.
This week Jeff and I met with our radiation oncologist at UCSF. I was nervous about what the plan would be. Jeff and I had also talked about possibly shifting the radiation to Oakland.
Initially I could not get my cancer surgery in Oakland because none of the top doctors would accept my insurance. I immediately started pursuing the UCSF system, who would take my insurance.I know that it was the best thing I could have done. I have never second guessed any decisions nor have I felt the need to seek out second opinions.
The reason I considered moving to Alta Bates for the radiation was simply the ease of driving to Berkeley for five weeks every day rather than SF. When I found out the name of the doctor at UCSF who would see me, Dr. Barbara Fowble, I looked up her resume. She is world renowned and patients come to her from all over. She is a specialist in only breast cancer radiation. She is also listed as one of the best doctors in the United States.UCSF doctors as I have said before are also immersed in teaching, clinical trials and publishing their findings.
We headed down to the basement offices at UCSF which we found to be stuffy and dark. Yuck. I was not looking forward to this but I knew it was the next step and had to be done. I stripped off my jacket and was gulping water from my bottle trying to ease my nerves.
We were ushered in to a small treatment room. When we met her, she was friendly, straightforward and ready to answer any questions. She explained the statistics and clinical findings have proved that radiation greatly reduces the risk of the cancer recurring. My course of treatment is the standard five weeks. My right breast and collar bone area will be radiated. It is a very precise procedure and everything is mapped out, then sent to a physics lab which figures out the path of the beams. I have two planning sessions before I even start. The actual daily radiation takes only twenty minutes, most of the time spent in positioning me. I get tiny tattoos to mark where the radiation is to go. No, they will not be butterflies...
There will be a four to six week break between my last chemo and the radiation to give me time to recuperate. The biggest effect of radiation will be some tiredness and a sunburn effect which will go away. During radiation, I am not supposed to have any antioxidants which interfere with the free radicals...don't ask me what this means. I will receive special creams to soothe my skin,. Of course there are other possible side effects which I don't want to think about.
At first I thought the UCSF doctor could direct the doctor at Alta Bates but that is not how it works. I would have to start in from scratch with her. It took us about one minute to realize how dumb that would be. AT UCSF everything is already in place; all my films, records, test results and everything works like a well-oiled machine. I will figure that I have a five week job...to get my radiation in San Francisco and will probably drive, take BART or have some friends drive me now and then. I can also stay over at my sister's house if I want.
Two more chemo treatments...I am finally seeing the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I pray for the rest of the time to be uneventful, enjoying my family in between the treatments and no major surprises and setbacks.
It is interesting with this drug, Taxol, that the initial concern is having an allergic reaction. Before the infusion even begins, I receive several anti allergy drugs, including a Benadryl IV which makes me rather sleepy. What happened the last time was that by the third day when those drugs wore off I crashed and was extremely tired. Perhaps now that I know what to expect, it won't be as bad.
Once again, I was reminded how cancer hits all ages. Two of the women sharing the infusion room with me were young, one in her early twenties. It makes me realize that my situation, though not pleasant, is not half as challenging as faced by these younger women.
Tomorrow I get a special delivery of TLC as my daughter Devora arrives from Israel in the morning. This is the first time she left her three children and traveled here by herself. She is not a good traveler, reacts to jet lag for days so this is a big venture on her part. I am grateful we will have some time to be together and catch up without the troops.
My son in law Andy is an amazing Abba. He arrives with the children in about ten days, the day before Chanukah. Fortunately he will have some help on the plane from a good friend who will travel with them. The older girls are used to the long flight and now that Shmaya is getting older, he should also be much easier. When he was smaller, Andy walked him from one end of the plane to the other sometimes for hours to get him to fall asleep.
They normally stay with us for the first week and I get up with them at 2AM when they are wide awake with jet lag, but this time they are headed to their wonderful Palo Alto grandparents first.
I will miss that crazy middle of the night ruckus when I am making breakfast, cheerios and toasted English muffins, and we are watching Net Flix cartoons.Hopefully, they will be able to spend some time at our house during their second week when I will be recuperated from #7 treatment.
This week Jeff and I met with our radiation oncologist at UCSF. I was nervous about what the plan would be. Jeff and I had also talked about possibly shifting the radiation to Oakland.
Initially I could not get my cancer surgery in Oakland because none of the top doctors would accept my insurance. I immediately started pursuing the UCSF system, who would take my insurance.I know that it was the best thing I could have done. I have never second guessed any decisions nor have I felt the need to seek out second opinions.
The reason I considered moving to Alta Bates for the radiation was simply the ease of driving to Berkeley for five weeks every day rather than SF. When I found out the name of the doctor at UCSF who would see me, Dr. Barbara Fowble, I looked up her resume. She is world renowned and patients come to her from all over. She is a specialist in only breast cancer radiation. She is also listed as one of the best doctors in the United States.UCSF doctors as I have said before are also immersed in teaching, clinical trials and publishing their findings.
We headed down to the basement offices at UCSF which we found to be stuffy and dark. Yuck. I was not looking forward to this but I knew it was the next step and had to be done. I stripped off my jacket and was gulping water from my bottle trying to ease my nerves.
We were ushered in to a small treatment room. When we met her, she was friendly, straightforward and ready to answer any questions. She explained the statistics and clinical findings have proved that radiation greatly reduces the risk of the cancer recurring. My course of treatment is the standard five weeks. My right breast and collar bone area will be radiated. It is a very precise procedure and everything is mapped out, then sent to a physics lab which figures out the path of the beams. I have two planning sessions before I even start. The actual daily radiation takes only twenty minutes, most of the time spent in positioning me. I get tiny tattoos to mark where the radiation is to go. No, they will not be butterflies...
There will be a four to six week break between my last chemo and the radiation to give me time to recuperate. The biggest effect of radiation will be some tiredness and a sunburn effect which will go away. During radiation, I am not supposed to have any antioxidants which interfere with the free radicals...don't ask me what this means. I will receive special creams to soothe my skin,. Of course there are other possible side effects which I don't want to think about.
At first I thought the UCSF doctor could direct the doctor at Alta Bates but that is not how it works. I would have to start in from scratch with her. It took us about one minute to realize how dumb that would be. AT UCSF everything is already in place; all my films, records, test results and everything works like a well-oiled machine. I will figure that I have a five week job...to get my radiation in San Francisco and will probably drive, take BART or have some friends drive me now and then. I can also stay over at my sister's house if I want.
Two more chemo treatments...I am finally seeing the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I pray for the rest of the time to be uneventful, enjoying my family in between the treatments and no major surprises and setbacks.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Pancakes and Giving Thanks
My oncologist said the next four treatments would not be as rough as the first four. I am almost one week from the last treatment, and I would have to agree with him. Though I have had some hours of total wipe out when I don't want to get out of bed, I am gradually getting my strength and taking advantage of the moments when I feel good. Yesterday I woke up at 4:30AM thinking about pancakes.
That might not seem like a big deal but it is. It signifies I am getting my appetite back and what's more I told Jeff I wanted to go OUT for breakfast. He was so happy that I wanted to leave the house. Can I say again that my husband has been the ultimate trooper through all this ordeal. He encourages me, points out small victories and reminds me how much better I am relative to the last treatment.
We even get in a few laughs now and then. For example, if a side effect is listed and I get it then it is OK because it is something to be expected. This round one of the side effects has been muscle aches. When that started, my body felt like a pin ball machine. I kept getting strange pings in my joints from my ankles to my wrists that lasted a few seconds. But this was on the list...so we didn't freak out. Thankfully a few Advil seems to help this one.I'm also no longer suffering from the canker sore that took more than two weeks to heal. That was difficult.
Yesterday besides having breakfast out, one oatmeal pancake with blueberry sauce at Lu and Lil's,we also walked at Lake Merritt for twenty minutes. It was a gorgeous, crisp fall day, and it was great to be outside. My oncology nurse tells me that walking is crucial for me and sometimes I drag myself out of bed and walk from my kitchen through the living room back and forth and up and down the stairs if I can't get out.
This is Thanksgiving week (and my birthday Wednesday) I always love this time of the year. I think one of the reasons is that for my mom, an immigrant from Hitler's Germany, Thanksgiving was the one holiday that our family totally embraced as Jewish Americans. My mom decorated the table with little Pilgrim tchotchkes and prepared a sumptuous meal, everything from scratch.When we were young, visiting east coast cousins would join us, especially my cousin Uri who was studying at Cal Tech.
After Jeff and I met, we joined our two families and celebrated together. Our first Thanksgiving together I turned twenty We had just gotten engaged.. One of my favorite photos (though Jeff does not like it) is me with longish blonde hair and him with big black glasses wearing a pink shirt. We were so young, smiling broadly.Where have the years gone?
I love doing the holiday as well researching recipes, decorating with my box of Thanksgiving goodies and enjoying the holiday bustle just like my mom did. This year however I will be grateful just to show up and bring a few side dishes. My wonderful sister has taken over my usual job of preparing the meal but we are all contributing so she does not have to do it all.
I am so appreciative for the steady stream of calls, cards, emails, goodies, and support I continue to receive from all of you. I wish everyone a wonderful holiday. Treasure the good times.I realized the other day that this ordeal will make me stronger. I will be a different person and pray to be a better one with a renewed chance to do good.
That might not seem like a big deal but it is. It signifies I am getting my appetite back and what's more I told Jeff I wanted to go OUT for breakfast. He was so happy that I wanted to leave the house. Can I say again that my husband has been the ultimate trooper through all this ordeal. He encourages me, points out small victories and reminds me how much better I am relative to the last treatment.
We even get in a few laughs now and then. For example, if a side effect is listed and I get it then it is OK because it is something to be expected. This round one of the side effects has been muscle aches. When that started, my body felt like a pin ball machine. I kept getting strange pings in my joints from my ankles to my wrists that lasted a few seconds. But this was on the list...so we didn't freak out. Thankfully a few Advil seems to help this one.I'm also no longer suffering from the canker sore that took more than two weeks to heal. That was difficult.
Yesterday besides having breakfast out, one oatmeal pancake with blueberry sauce at Lu and Lil's,we also walked at Lake Merritt for twenty minutes. It was a gorgeous, crisp fall day, and it was great to be outside. My oncology nurse tells me that walking is crucial for me and sometimes I drag myself out of bed and walk from my kitchen through the living room back and forth and up and down the stairs if I can't get out.
This is Thanksgiving week (and my birthday Wednesday) I always love this time of the year. I think one of the reasons is that for my mom, an immigrant from Hitler's Germany, Thanksgiving was the one holiday that our family totally embraced as Jewish Americans. My mom decorated the table with little Pilgrim tchotchkes and prepared a sumptuous meal, everything from scratch.When we were young, visiting east coast cousins would join us, especially my cousin Uri who was studying at Cal Tech.
After Jeff and I met, we joined our two families and celebrated together. Our first Thanksgiving together I turned twenty We had just gotten engaged.. One of my favorite photos (though Jeff does not like it) is me with longish blonde hair and him with big black glasses wearing a pink shirt. We were so young, smiling broadly.Where have the years gone?
I love doing the holiday as well researching recipes, decorating with my box of Thanksgiving goodies and enjoying the holiday bustle just like my mom did. This year however I will be grateful just to show up and bring a few side dishes. My wonderful sister has taken over my usual job of preparing the meal but we are all contributing so she does not have to do it all.
I am so appreciative for the steady stream of calls, cards, emails, goodies, and support I continue to receive from all of you. I wish everyone a wonderful holiday. Treasure the good times.I realized the other day that this ordeal will make me stronger. I will be a different person and pray to be a better one with a renewed chance to do good.
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